Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Our Neighbors hate us

There is an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where the family comes home early from their yearly vacation to find that their neighbors secretly schedule their annual block party during the week that they are out of town. I wonder if my neighbors will plan the same type of activity.

We moved there in January and we were the last house built in a brand new addition. Perhaps we are viewed as outsiders. I try to wave at my neighbors but they are never looking when I do, but after that they will stare at my wife and me.

There is one particular family that we call our nemeses. In seven months, I still haven't figured out how many children they have. I have narrowed it down to 4-6. I have never seen two of them in any type of clothing other than diapers. I think the mother just gets tired and throws them in the fenced in backyard as if she was letting the dog out to answer nature's call. If this is the case, then why the diaper? She acts like the queen bee of the neighborhood and seems to chat everyone but us up. They also have a bunch of Bush/Cheney yard signs in their garage and the husband will actually sit in his convertible and listen to Rush Limbaugh after he has driven home. I've seen sitting there nodding his dittohead.

My next door neighbor's wife will walk right by us when come home without waving. Down the street, somebody's wealthy father has bought a house for his college age kid to use while he goes to University of Indianapolis. The occupants of that house shoot bottle rockets and roman candles toward our home. I'll never understand why. Our yard is clean, the vehicles are quiet and in working order, but I imagine the guy down the street who is on the convicted sex offender's list has more friends in the neighborhood.

I never expected to have a "Wilson" next door, but I never expected to be a pariah either. Perhaps we will buy a large RV and park it on the street outside of our house. I imagine they'll talk to us then.


Blogger Jim said...

Ah, the 'burbs. Don't ya love 'em? Maybe your neighbors didn't like that 20 X 50' "Impeach Bush" banner that you erected in your front yard when you moved in. ;)

August 03, 2005  
Blogger torporific said...

My wife and I have ordered a Kerry/Edwards yard sign to hang in our garage. Surprisingly, one can still buy one for 6 dollars online.

I am certain none of my neighbors share my political views, but I moved down there because the wife wanted to be near her family. There are no outward signs of our politics. We don't put bumperstickers on cars, etc. If they only knew there might be a cross burning on my lawn.

August 03, 2005  
Blogger lemming said...

I found that my neighbors warmed up to me when they realized that 1) I had and regularly walked a dog and 2) that I cleaned up after said dog.

I've no idea why this made such a difference - thanks to said dog I even found out that I'm not the only liberal on my block. Doe sthe ToporIndy household have a canine member?

August 03, 2005  
Blogger torporific said...

No, we used to have an adopted greyhound, but we had to put him to sleep at age 13. I do plan on getting another dog soon though and possibly another greyhound.

August 03, 2005  
Blogger Toad734 said...

Just get a broken down car, primer it and leave it on the street

August 03, 2005  
Blogger torporific said...

Ha! Yes! Or even better, I put it on concrete blocks in the yard. That will leave less to mow.

August 03, 2005  
Anonymous Hobbes' Goblin said...

They are shunning you because I told them you rudely stood me up at our planned kerfuffle at Shapiro's Deli.

August 03, 2005  
Blogger torporific said...

You have quite a sphere of influence.

August 04, 2005  
Anonymous Montana Mouse said...

You think that's creepy, Counselor?

Wait till you see his Vexagon of Agonistic Drama.

August 05, 2005  

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