Saturday, April 7, 2007

Happy Easter

As a child I always loved Easter. Not to devalue the religious significance of the holiday, but as a kid I knew what a great scam Easter really was. For Christmas you had to be good and behave yourself. If you didn't you could possibly be without presents on Christmas morning and find yourself with coal in your stocking. I stopped believing in Santa Claus relatively early but I hedged by bets by behaving myself from late October on until I was seventeen years old to ensure a fruitful holiday.

But with Easter, there was really no affirmative effort on your part. No one ever told you to behave yourself or the Easter Bunny wouldn't come and leave you presents. You got the idea that no matter how rotten you really were as long as you put out a basket you were cool with the bunny. You didn't even have to bribe anyone like you did Santa by leaving out milk and cookies. All you had to do was make eggs with smelly vinegar. The bunny didn't snack on those either. So you got candy, died eggs, and presents all for nothing. What a sweet deal.

The only possible thing that kept you in line was the slight chance that you might run into the big man himself. I don't know about you but I haven't seen a bunny at the mall around this time that didn't scare the hell out of me. That bunny's face is enough to scare the toughest criminal straight. No wonder all those kids cry when they are getting their picture taken with the bunny.

Hope you enjoy this snowy Easter. And just for kicks, try to make up some crazy story about the Easter Bunny to tell your kids or nieces and nephews so they will fly straight at least in the month of April. They will catch on to the scam soon enough.


Blogger Doug said...

Great post. My boy is 3 years old, and my wife introduced him to the concept of the Easter Bunny this year. He was cool with the idea last night, suggesting on his own that we put some carrots out for the bunny to eat.

When I put him to bed, Cole showed that he's an astute little 3 year old. "Daddy," he asks, "Does the Easter Bunny have hands." Good question. On the one hand, a bunny with hands? On the other hand, how would he carry the loot?

Then, he started getting scared. I think he has in mind the Easter Bunny as a bunny version of the guy in the Chuck E Cheese mouse costume which scares Cole so bad, he cries . . . a lot. So, he was a bit nervous about the idea of this stranger skulking about in his house in the middle of the night. Again, smart kid.

April 08, 2007  
Blogger torporindy said...

Okay. I used to a work at a Pharmacy/Hallmark store. Each Easter I had to take my turn in the Bunny suit. The worst was standing outside of the store and waving at the traffic when it went by.

Also, the suit was pretty heavy, which caused you to sweat badly. The bad thing was that my turn always came right after my very sweaty, 300 pound co-worker.

April 08, 2007  
Blogger Moulton said...

Man, I'd love to see a photo of you in that bunny suit.

I bet Ozzie would even adopt it as his avatar pix for a day or two.

It would sure beat that squabbling baby.

April 10, 2007  
Blogger 日月神教-任我行 said...


May 02, 2010  

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