Welcome Back, Jim

One of my favorite bloggers, Jim, has returned with a new endeavor--He writes about words.

In a recent post he mentions Kurt Vonnegut will be speaking at the Butler visiting writing series. I try to go every year and in the past have seen Salman Rushdie, Michael Moore and Nick Hornby. This year they will be issuing free tickets in advance so get yours early.

In other news...

Rush Limbaugh is a still a racist.

WTF?!

So I have a problem.

It's kind of personal.

I love Long John Silvers. I love their fish. I love their crunchy bites of grease and batter that only true LJS afficionados know are called "krums".

Here is another secret--you can get more free if you ask for them.

It's my crack and my heroin and I know it will kill me in the end.

So today, I stop by one of the LJS shoppes and I order what I've had for years. I even know the price by heart. I notice that she pushed one button and I received a discount.

Okay.

I take my food and sit down and then look at the receipt.

What the ffff...
(click to enlarge)


They gave me the senior discount.

I don't understand. I have some grey hair on my head and a few on my chin. My hair still covers my head though not as thick as it used to be.

This is a first though. I keep telling myself it was an accident.

Just an accident.

Making Friends...

According the BBC, anti-Americanism is rising around the globe.

The British Broadcasting Corporation polled 26,000 people in 25 countries about America's role in the world.

Three in every four of those questioned disapproved of how the US government was dealing with the crisis in Iraq.

This is not surprising, but this was not the world's only grievance.

The poll did not just deal with Iraq. It also asked questions about the US handling of Guantanamo detainees; the Israel-Hezbollah war; Iran's nuclear programme; global warming; and North Korea's nuclear programme.

In every case, a majority of those questioned disapproved of America's handling of the issue concerned.



The American people know the world's displeasure with our government about the Iraq War, but do they know how the world feels on other issues? Our major news channels only seem to carry news about the Duke rape case and the occasional missing child. Why do we let them perform such a disservice to us?

Hoosiers' right to bestiality in jeopardy

Today's Indianapolis Star lists some of the more unusual bills introduced in the legislature this term. We all know that Jeff Drozda is obsessed with a woman's right to reproduce, but other lawmakers apparently have their ahem, pet projects.

Representative Linda Lawson has introduced a bill that would make sexual contact with an animal a misdemeanor offense. It is a felony if the animal dies or suffers extreme pain. Now, I wonder how she plans on putting "extreme pain" testimony into evidence. Of course, the bill doesn't have any provisions to deal with the possibility that the animal might turn the table on you.

Sen. Connie W. Sipes introduced a bill that would make it illegal for hoosiers to own a number of exotic animals, including elephants and kangaroos. Oh come on. When Kangaroos are outlawed...well, nevermind.

Finally, Senator Dennis Kruse wants to make the Monarch Butterfly the state's official insect.

These are some of the 1420 bills up for consideration this term.

The Pey-Back Game

We gotta supa bowl ta think about!

If anyone can find the TV Funhouse clip spoofing Ray Lewis on the internets, I'd be greatly indebted. That's where the above-listed quote comes from. I've searched through Youtube, but to no avail.

What else is there to say about the great comeback by the Colts? In two weeks the Colts will be in Miami for the Super Bowl. If you're going to Miami, here is the ESPN guide to the city. I love that city and would love to go, but alas, I'll be watching the game here in Indianapolis.

The Bears matchup will be interesting. It's less than a 3 hour drive (depending on Chicago traffic).

There are so many Bears fans still around Indiana. Pre 1984, this area was a mishmash of fans. There were Cowboy and Steeler fans, but a lot of people looked to Chicago for the Bears. I was a Cowboy fan, but I remember having a Bears coat when I was a little kid.

This is especially hard for northern Indiana fans. After all, northwestern Indiana is nothing but a suburb of Chicago. A lot of pepple from the region know nothing about our state. When I was in college, my friends who came downstate for school said that they didn't even know who the governor of Indiana was until they left the region.

Anyway, there are Bears fans among us, so it should make for some interesting conversations around the water cooler.

Update: They still hate us in Baltimore

Ted Nugent -- equal opportunity offender

Ted Nugent performed at Texas Governor Rick Perry's inauguration ball and managed to offend almost everyone.

"Using machine guns as props, Nugent, 58, appeared onstage as the final act of the inaugural ball wearing a cutoff T-shirt emblazoned with the Confederate flag and shouting offensive remarks about non-English speakers, according to people who were in attendance."

The question is--did he play "stranglehold"?

10 in 10

INShape Indiana, Gov. Mitch Daniels' health initiative created 18 months ago to help Hoosiers life (sic) a healthier lifestyle, will launch the first 10-week/10-pound statewide weight loss challenge on Jan. 15.

In related news...

Elephant Bar coming to Indy. "Elephant Bar, a California-based restaurant chain, promises "elephant size" portions."

Patriot Fans

There are a lot of things going on in the world this week.

The United Nations estimated that over 34000 civilians were killed in Iraq in 2006. Somebody really hates freedom.

Fidel Castro is probably going to die.

Lindsey Lohan checked into rehab

Mitch Daniels gave his "State of the State" speech.

Butchdingo finally received the recognition he deserves. (so did indygirl, masson and other torporindy favorites)

However, this week, I am only going to write about the Colts.

You know Indianapolis has struggled with its image for years. Hopefully the rest of the country doesn't know that the toothless hilljacks featured on Armed and Famous are only an hour away.

On the other hand, New England conjures certain images--old money, lineage and tradition. Boston itself is home to several great universities including two of the best--Harvard and MIT. This weekend the circle city will be blessed because scores of sophisticated New England Patriot fans will visit our city. Fellow Hoosiers, I know you have visions of smoking jackets and fireside philosophy chats with our visitors about the Frankfurt School philosophers vs. the 68ers. Well, I wouldn't dust off that Adorno book just yet. You can probably still use your Derrida text to stabilize that wobbily table because I have a feeling that most Patriot fans are like the guy below. Watch the video to get a taste of his wicked awesome commentary about his beloved Patriots.

(I warn you the sound is probably not safe for work, so keep the volume low)




hat tip Deadspin

Ways to beat Tom Brady

According to The Big Lead blog, Tom Brady is spending his free time with supermodel Gisele Bundchen. She was apparently spotted waiting patiently for him outside of the locker room after the Chargers game.

Gisele was formerly linked to Leonardo DiCaprio and I must say it's not easy to find a work friendly picture of her.



What does this mean? Well, I think Brady has his mind on a little more than Dwight Freeney, which could be good for the Colts.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

The following is a rerun post from MLK day 2006

At some point today, I will hear Dr. King's moving words uttered in 1963 in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. The media will talk about about his contribution to the civil rights era and rightly so. That is the legacy of Dr. King that has been safely co-opted and enshrined as part of the national myth. What will be omitted of course is his advocacy for the poor and his strident anti-war speeches. Dr. King spoke so eloquently in the years before his death about the need for social justice in this country. He called for greater redistribution of wealth and more economic equality. He was appalled by the paucity of social spending in contrast to the seemingly endless budget for the military and war. He spoke out against the Vietnam War, our Latin American policy which favored the elite, and our foreign policy which supported cruel dictators. He called the United States "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today" and asked for change. We listened to him about civil rights, but we did listen to him about poverty and war?

edit: Watch the "I have a dream" speech here.

Be careful what you wish for...

At one point late in today’s game, I caught myself yelling out “C’mon Brady!”

Yes, I like many Colts fans were cheering for the hated Patriots to defeat the Chargers. Is it wrong to want to play the team that has caused us so much playoff misery? The thing that matters is the Patriots’ victory gives us the opportunity to host our first AFC championship game. Also, we won’t have to travel to San Diego to try to stop LaDainian Tomlinson.

So now we have a date with the most clutch playoff quarterback in the game. Be careful what you wish for.

Oh, and Baltimore, please get over losing the Colts. It has been 23 years now. You didn’t love them enough when you had them, so they left. The team played in front of a half full stadium, you wouldn’t build them a new one, and the Maryland state legislature forced Irsay’s hand. The Baltimore fans love to claim the football gods will not allow the Colts to win a championship while they are still called the Colts. They cry about all of this, yet they stole the Browns from Cleveland in much of the same manner.

It’s petty when your grown adult fans flip off our players, our fans and even get in their face and yell at them while they are visiting your city. It’s scary when one of your newspaper columnists has to write a blog post begging people not to riot if your team loses. It’s cheap when your public address announcer refuses to call us by our name instead he introduces us as the “The football team from Indianapolis”.

Let the healing begin.

How tall was James Brown anyway?

Note: I have been busy as of late and out of action. This post has nothing to do with anything. It just amused the hell out of me.

Man shoots friend in argument over height of late soul singer James Brown

ATMORE, Ala. (AP) - A man shot a friend when the two got into an argument over James Brown's height, police said.

Dan Gulley Jr. was charged with assault in the shooting of David James Brooks Jr., police said. Officers said the men were at a friend's home on Monday when, according to witnesses, the argument over the height of the late "Godfather of Soul" escalated, with Gulley, 70, shooting Brooks, 62, twice in the abdomen.

Brooks went to his car, got a gun and shot at Gulley but missed, then went to the police station, officers said.

Gulley also went to the station and told police he had shot Brooks. He remained in the Escambia County Jail on Wednesday.

Brooks was taken to a hospital, but information on his condition was not available.

The Mobile, Ala., Press-Register newspaper said officers did not believe alcohol was a factor in the argument.

Brown, who was known to wear lifts, died of heart failure Dec. 25 at age 73. Accounts of his height vary.


link

IU Purdue fans to be left in the dark tomorrow

I grew up in Southern Indiana. There is not a lot to do there in the winter—that’s why we’re crazy about basketball. One of the biggest game(s) of the year is Indiana versus Purdue. In the past, everyone would gather around their TV set and turn on WTTV-4, if you were without cable, you could still pick up the signal through your antenna.

A few years ago, the Big Ten signed up with ESPN to air its games. This has caused a few problems over the years, but most of IU games have appeared through ESPN Plus on WTTV 4 if it is not already on ESPN or a major network. Now ESPN is trying to promote its new station-ESPNU, which is a network focusing on college sports. The problem is that most cable companies still do not carry ESPNU mostly because (according to the article below) ESPN’s subscriber fees for its other networks are already among the highest in the industry. So, tomorrow night, IU and Purdue fans will lose out on a traditional rivalry. Hopefully, the Big Ten will do a better job in renegotiating its contract with ESPN because the loss of this game not only hurts fans, but also recruiting.

As for me, I’ll be meeting some friends to watch the game at Average Joe’s in Broad Ripple. Maybe, I’ll see you there.

link to Indianapolis Star

Monday Roundup

The 2007 legislative session begins at 1 pm today. Will they pray? It's up to Patrick Bauer. For now, he is undecided
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70 birds seized in Gary cockfighting raid. "Police also found a makeshift fighting ring and cockfighting magazines." There are actual cockfighting magazines? Who knew? I was invited to attend a cockfight while in Mexico. Of course, I think it's cruel, but part of me thinks I should have gone for the anthropological experience. I did see a video of a dogfight while there at an open air market. I couldn't stand to watch that.
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Army sorry for asking war dead to serve again

WASHINGTON – The Army on Saturday blamed a computer mix-up for recruitment letters mistakenly sent out over the holidays to the families of 275 officers killed or wounded in action in Iraq.

The letters encourage the officers to consider returning to active duty.
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And lastly,

Instant Ramen Noodle Inventor Dead

This is a sad day for a lot of poor college students. Thank you, Momofuku Ando. If it were not for you, I would not have been able to receive 58% of my recommended daily sodium intake for the price of thirty-two cents.

Hard hitting news

Why is the following the headline on Indystar.com?


Reality star, wounded activist trade words



Yes, that is Erik Estrada (aka John Poncharello from CHIPS). He is in Muncie filming a CBS reality show Armed and Famous where he and lesser celebrities like Latoya Jackson, Jack Osborne, WeeMan and some WWE wrestler woman that I have never heard of (and even if I had, I wouldn't admit it) are acting as reserve officers on the Muncie Police Department. Apparently, Randall Sims (pictured) whom the author of the article charitably called an "activist" and Estrada traded words after a domestic altercation.
Apparently, this article was first written for the Muncie Star Press, but the Indianapolis Star website picked it up and made the story its headline.

Now, I do suppose this is news. The Star has certainly done its best to track the exploits of the reality show participants as there have been numerous articles on about the filming. On the other hand, there is a lot more important news to be featured at the top of the Star website than countless articles about a group of has beens and never will bes.

There's goin' to be a killin'

God has spoken to Pat Robertson again. This time he has told him that there will be a "mass killing" in the United States this year.

Robertson stated, "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Well, why didn't you ask him, Pat. We need to know. If you don't know how to ask key questions, then we need to find someone else to talk to God. Even Larry King would have gotten around to that question.

Article here

In other news:

Canada province allows child to have three parents

Conservatives talk about the problems with single parents raising children. I wonder what they'll think about three? Something tells me this won't be popular either.

Lawmaker wants death penalty for certain murders involving children

The Indianapolis Star reports that Representative Terry Goodin will introduce a bill to require prosecutors to seek the death penalty in certain child murders.

This is a feel good piece of legislation that would cause problems for prosecutors and county budgets all over the state. Death penalty trials are expensive and to require a prosecutor to seek the death penalty could impose a financial burden that some smaller counties cannot handle. It speaks volumes that both the Indiana Prosecuting Attorney's Council and Public Defender Council are against the legislation. The article reports that the bill passed the House last year but was not picked up by the Senate.

Gateway to the City

Circle Arch slide



The above design was chosen over four others to represent a gateway to our city. The design will stand 280 foot tall and will be illuminated in lights. The final design isn't set in stone, but let's hope they don't follow the advice of one panelist who trusses resemble the double helix of a strand of DNA to highlight Indianapois's strength in the life sciences. That's so 1950s.

It is interesting that the Indianapolis Star has not covered this significant story. I first heard yesterday when a friend of mine emailed me this IBJ article dated December 30th. The only mention that I saw in the Star was by a Fresh Thoughts Blogger who hates the the selection.

Jason at Foursquare 266 and Christopher at On the Cusp have posts about the design.

No stamp for you

The new Marion County Clerk took office today. Apparently, someone forgot to order file stamps for the new Clerk elect, Beth White. As every lawyer knows, if one needs to file a document in court, it must have the file stamp signature from the clerk.

I do not know whose responsibility this is--if it is the outgoing Republican's duty or the Democratic clerk elect. The new clerk is apparently calling around town trying to find the vendor who can fill the order the quickest.

As of now, some of today's filings still have Doris Ann-Sadler's signature, who is no longer the Clerk.

New Year Miscellany

Two new blogs added to the blogroll (via Masson)

Trifles from Anderson -- Self described as: Whatever comes to mind about politics and life in Indiana: the food, the people, trying to make a living. Completely biased against stupidity and favoring humor and the Democratic Party in post-industrial factory town where the most culture can be found in the yogurt section of the local grocery stores. Still, we persist in our search for a meaningful life.

Stampede Blue - A blog about the Indianapolis Colts

Advance Indiana posts a story from The Hill about aging Congresswoman Julia Carson. Her health has been an issue for some time and she has been seen using a wheelchair in DC and violating House floor rules about eating and dress. She was on the news tonight for speaking at the swearing in for Marion County Democrats and she appeared to be in poor health.

I have to return to work tomorrow. During my break, I was able to go to Terre Haute to see my alma mater destroy the Purdue Boilermakers in a basketball game. Also, I was able to drink Champagne Velvet pilsner, which is a revival beer of the Terre Haute Brewing Company. Perhaps the Hoosier Beer Geeks need to make a roadtrip to Moggers in Terre Haute where they can sample this on tap.

Lastly, let me tell you that smoking is bad for you, but every once in a while Torporindy enjoys a cigarette or fifteen. This is usually when I am accompanied by either two people I'll call J. West, the J. and also a few beers. They are obscurely featured in this post. J. West was in town from California and we all met up for dinner at St. Elmo's.

After dinner, we walked down to Olives at the Omni for a nightcap. We were interrupted a by a short man in a black trench coat.

He said, "Excuse, I am from Texas and I am jonesing for a cigarette."

I wondered why he bothered to tell us why he was from Texas, but I started to offer him one anyway.

He said, "I'll give you 20 dollars for one cigarette."

My friend and I each started to protest that's not necessary. My friend reached for his pack and the guy asked for two. My friend remarked that he only had one. I told him there were enough in my pack on the table to help himself.

He grabbed two and put 40 dollars on the table. I told him it was not necessary, but he walked away and told me to buy a carton.

All right.

Well, I did not buy the carton but the money did buy me some champagne velvets the following night.